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That'sthe way I want to be." Well, you and your mother could pass for sisters, even if you areclaiming to be your father's sister," Mrs. Estes said sarcastically asshe blew a puff of smoke across the room."I know! That's what I want," I said excitedly. "I want to be just likemy mom in every way. I've always wanted to be just like her." That's so sweet," Margie said. "Imagine that! A boy who loves his motherso much that he wants to be just like her. I've never heard of anythinglike that before, but the thought is sweet. It's such a big change fromthe way you really are. And Christmas is so soon. Don't you think itmight be best if you took some more time and not rushed into things?"The phone rang before I could answer. Susan, Margie, and I watched as mymom got up from the table to answer it. "I'll be right back," she said."Keep talking."I started telling Margie about feeling that it was right for me to be awoman and that since I felt that way, it didn't make sense to wait."It's for. It was so long ago, like the words in her song. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I still want you here with me. And all my heart can say, yes still to this day, is please don't go.But if you can't be here with me, at least I have the memories of you to help get me through the day. Those memories are so much more than what the word implies. I know memories can hurt you, I know the sweetness of them can still make you cry. But what I feel for you, yes still to this day, is so vivid and real.I still can feel your lips, pressing close to me. I can still feel your arms wrapped around me, how they kept me warm, holding me oh so close. The smell of your skin is still so vivid in my mind. The taste of your kiss is what holds me spellbound even now, so long from the act.The words of her song are exactly how I feel, because all I want to do is beg you to stay. I want to turn back time and say: Please don't go. I wish my foolish pride had not driven you away.We were both so young, and I was so.
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